A Mom Protects at all Cost!

In my last post I talked about what it might feel like if you are pregnant, and have no idea who might be the father. You are a party girl, not real Mom material.

I can understand that feeling, I was not a party girl, but I was willing to sleep with my boyfriend. We had made plans to have sex, of course not plans for any protection though; he said that condoms ‘took away from the feeling’. I didn’t know one way or the other; this would be my first time by my choice, if you understand what I mean.

We did it and I thought it wasn’t as bad as i thought it was going to be. I might really want to do this again. So off to the family planning clinic I go. Did you know that before you can get birth control pills, you have to take a pregnancy test?  Well mine came back positive! 

Oh crap!”

The nurse said “I’m sorry honey, we can’t give you the pills today, you’re already pregnant. Here is some info on what you can do about that. You can come back and see us again before you become sexually active again.”

It couldn’t be right, I had only had sex one time, by my choice. She smiled at me and said, “It only took one time.”

I’m a junior in high school, I had cut class to go to the clinic; Oh, and I drove the car that my Dad was going to let me work for, once I got my license. I had failed the driving test two times already. I drive home, park the car, and then walk back to school; numb to the world… don’t even remember any of my classes.

My boyfriend wants to know if I got them, “wink, wink” as he is all hugging and loving dovey, until I tell him “I’m Pregnant!” 

Like most guys his age, the first words out of his mouth are “What are you going to do?”

After he picked himself up off the ground, I made It very clear I didn’t do this myself.

I did look at the papers that the nurse gave me, but since I had been going to church most of my life, I believed in my heart that the life I now carried in my body was a miracle, and I would never even think of ending this life.

I told my boyfriend that I would be keeping this baby, with or without him, and walked away! Over the next few days he came around and said he wanted the baby and we would get married. His parents were okay with it, I had not told my Dad yet.

My Mom and Dad have been divorced since I was a year old, it had always been that me and my sister lived with my Mom. But at this time, because of some other things going on, we were living with Dad.

It had been three days since I found out I was pregnant. I walked in the door after school and my Dad was there sitting in a chair, drink in one hand, and a cigarette in the other. The bottom of my world dropped out; the papers from the clinic are on the table in front of him. He told me I parked the car in the wrong spot. He knew I had taken it, just not what for. So he searched my room and founded the papers. He wanted to know what my plan was. I told him, “We would be keeping the baby and getting married.”

The words were not even out of my mouth before he was standing over me and in my face, yelling, “How dumb could I be! I was going to ruin my life!” and, “I will have an abortion. That was the end of the discussion.” I told him “No!” 

You have to understand, no one stood up to my Dad, ever! That day was the first day I ever stood my ground, at a very great cost. As I lay on the floor with him leaning over me, punching me in the stomach, trying to cause a spontaneous abortion to happen; I did raise my hand for the first time in my life and hit my Dad in the face.

It was then that he said, “I brought you into this world kicking and screaming, and I can take you out the same way.”

When your Dad tells you he will kill you, you quit fighting. I just laid there until he stopped. He then told me to clean myself up and make an appointment. I could keep the car and still see my boyfriend. Just do this now, and I can get pregnant again after I graduate. As I walked down the hall my sister came out of her room to see if I was okay.

Dad left later that evening, and so did I; never to live in his house again. I didn’t talk to him again until our son was six months old and as cutie as can be. All I had to say to him was, “This is who you wanted to kill that day, Grandpa!”

A Mom Protects at All Costs!

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2 thoughts on “A Mom Protects at all Cost!

  1. Phyllis Simmons May 4, 2013 at 8:09 am Reply

    Oh, boy, Miss Deena, your story is my story, almost word for word. Tho I ended up with 4 children by 3 different men. Sad tale to tell. So in need of a daddy, our Heavenly Father has become that Daddy. Even gave us those children to love and love us (sometimes.) Love you girl. Hugs and blessings.

    • Deena Siddle May 4, 2013 at 7:49 pm Reply

      I knew we were connected in more ways then one. Miss you!

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