I have been blessed to be a Mom four times in my life. Each time, I had to fight for that right. I already shared with you about the story of How a Mom always protects! I also had to fight to be a Mom to my to middle daughters as well.
My marriage to the boy from high school didn’t last long, only 3 years. He did join the Air Force, and right away he seemed to forget he was married while away from home! I don’t harbor bad feelings for him. I can look back and say I didn’t believe that it was ever love in the first place. We got married because I was pregnant. I wouldn’t change things though; it is because of him I have our son.
I did however meet a wonderful man who is everything to me, and he had two very cute little girls, ages three and four. In the beginning, I have to say, I never really gave much thought to being a ‘Mom’ to them. They had a Mom, and I did not want to replace her. I had many of my step-mom’s try to be all “momish” on me (yes, that is a word in my dictionary), and I really didn’t know what my role would be in their world. Plus, it kind of depends on the lead of the Dad. My son’s father had not been that big of a part of his kid’s life since the divorce, three years early. So I really didn’t know what to expect.
Scott of course is different, his kids are the world to him, and soon they would mean just as much to me. So we are just one big happy, ‘blended’ family. One of the best ways that we found to make that happen is to never call someone a “step”, whether it was a child, or a parent. It just never set well with me as a kid when my step-mom’s would do it. I always felt like they were making a point to tell the world. “HEY! THIS DOES NOT BE LONG TO ME!” , and I think that goes the same for both sides. We just never did that in our new family; we were just mom and dad, and they are just son and daughters, no one needed to know that we were not the biological parent, and these are not our children.
Then even when we decided to have one together, it was still a fight! We lost three trying and the Dr’s had to take our daughter at seven weeks premature to save my life. I just did not do babies well! So it was a good thing that I married the two.
As you can imagine, the three who were ages five, four, and three when we got married, were like raising a pack sometimes. Then, six years later, along comes one more! And at the end of this Mom ‘gig’, she was like an only child, the next oldest moved out six years earlier. The older ones say she is the spoiled one; she says if she is, she deserves it, because she couldn’t get away with anything. No one was there to distract us, unlike the others who shared the troubles.
Each and every child has brought me joy, pain, smiles, tears; I love them all, with all my heart, and am blessed to be called Mom by one and all of my children.