Change is hard for me.

I have never done change very well at all, I think it is because of my background of abuse.I like things to stay the same, even if it is not all that great, at least I know what to expect.

I’m definitely not a dreamer or someone to think outside of the box. I even bought a couch that only fits in my living room one way because my husband kept changing things all the time.

So you get the point, I don’t like change right?

Well sometimes we have to change or the things around us will go bad. The relationships that we are in will die. If we are so afraid to bend and meet the needs of someone else then we will still be facing changes, just not ones we have any control over.

I don’t know if any of you have ever checked out my honey’s blog or not, it tells of his struggle with depression at times. Well, that is not all it is about, you should take a look around he has some good stuff. The thing is, we started seeing someone to help us to work things out about six months ago.

After 25 years of marriage and 19 years of being drug free and history on my side of child abuse, him dealing with depression, but didn’t know that is what is eating at him. We needed some changes or we were not going to make it to our next anniversary.

So you are maybe asking what are some of the changes that we made? Well for starters I had to stop being critical or negative of my honey. Yes, I can have that kind of heart at times, and it was not healthy for me as a child, so why I would want to have that in my marriage, beats me. I think sometimes we just need someone from the outside to point out what we are doing. I sure didn’t mean to be critical.

One of the other changes has to do with our business, we own a mom-n-pop coffee house that we started from the ground up 10 years ago. It was a dream of my honey’s and it has done well and provide for us. He has wanted out for the last two years now, but I could not see giving up what we have worked so hard to build. With the help once again from someone on the outside looking in, I was able the see just how miserable it was making my husband and in turn, killing everything else.

After many months of praying and praying, God gave me peace about putting the business up for sale, I put it all in God’s hands that if it was His will for us, then it would sell.

Today Son-Rise Espresso sold, or the process started anyways. I have great peace in my heart about it. Now that is a big change.

God has also given me other things that I am doing and want to do, to replace to spot of the shop. I am thankful for all the changes that God has brought into my life over the last few months, some have been really hard, but others are dreams I would have never dreamed for me. I will leave that for another post.

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2 thoughts on “Change is hard for me.

  1. lessonsbyheart July 13, 2013 at 9:12 pm Reply

    You built your business from the “grounds” up? Your coffee shop? That’s funny. 😉

    The only thing about life that never changes is that everything changes except God! Hope you are able to trust the Lord through the next “taffy pull” as He stretches you a bit!

    \o/

    • Deena Siddle July 14, 2013 at 7:22 am Reply

      Thanks He is teaching me how to enjoy the roller coaster ride.

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