How do you celebrate the Anniversary of the loss of a Parent, or do you?


The anniversary of the loss of my Mom to a car accident at the age of forty-two was twenty-six years ago tomorrow. For many years I would spend this day sad and still mourning the loss of someone I hardly knew.

The relationship I had with my Mom was a hard one. If you have followed my blog long I have written about it before, check it out if you are new here, (My Mom was a bad, Mom but I loved her! ) She was also the person who I wanted to love me the most.

I decided last year after putting off God for so many years with what He had planned for me (i.e. writing and speaking), I was going to change the meaning of the anniversary of losing my Mom.

It would no longer stand for:

-Losing her just at a time we could be friends.

-Walking away from God in anger and hate.

-The loss of my family support.

-My beginning of a life in drugs.

I wanted it to stand for something new! Yes, it would still have all of those attached to the anniversary, but I have the power to change what I focus on.

So on October 5, 2012 became the official day I called myself a writer! I finally obeyed Gods call, check out (You have to start somewhere!), my very first blog.

I have to say for it only being one year, a lot has happen when I look back. What God has done, WOW, I feel amazed He has used me to do it!

Last year I didn’t know what or where this would take me, and I still don’t. I have gone from sitting in a room with a note book, a pen, a bunch of jumbled ideas in my head, to having a plan and a direction.

I have started a book about my attempt of suicide. Wrote my first book proposal, met with three publishers face to face, and didn’t throw up,(yay for me)!  All of them gave me some great feed back on my story. “It is worth writing” is what they had to say.  One of the publishers even kept my book proposal and e-mailed a few weeks later. She let me know it was a top notch proposal and a great story, just not for their house but keep looking, don’t give up.

I started this blog to build my platform because you have to have a platform to get published now-a-days. I read a lot on how to build your following and increase your numbers. I wanted to do it all today as you can see in (I’ve Been Suspended and Blocked). If you try to do it by just hitting people over the head it won’t work.

You have to put the time in and build the relationship with the people that follow you. Read their stuff get to know who they are and let them get to know you, which is what I have learned in the last six months of my blog. If you look at some of the top bloggers numbers you will see they have been around a while.

More important; I write because God has a plan and words for me to say. Sometimes they are not the words you would think a pastor’s wife would say. I am real and hold nothing back, life has dealt me some crap and I made some of my own. With God’s grace I want to show the world His forgiveness will heal all pain and is worth all it costs. This is nothing but surrendering to Him!

So tomorrow I will not be mourning my Mom or even writing I will be helping to wash some cars to raise money for a little girl who has leukemia, her family could use some help. If you would like to help you can to Gofundme.

See ya next time.


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9 thoughts on “How do you celebrate the Anniversary of the loss of a Parent, or do you?

  1. Ann "afriend4ever54" Friend October 4, 2013 at 4:49 pm Reply

    I can relate my friend. My mom died when I was barely 11. As I grew older, things and stuff made my heart hard until one day God reached me. You are not alone. It is hard growing up without a mom. I just wanted to share with you that I know and understand because I walked the path as well. Each birthday is a reminder that is bittersweet thoughts of what might have been. My prayers are with you and God bless you. {{hugs}}

    • Deena Siddle October 4, 2013 at 5:26 pm Reply

      Ann thank you very much for your sweet words and your support. To lose you mom at 11 must have been hard I am glad you found God.

  2. Salli October 4, 2013 at 6:18 pm Reply

    I’m not sure ‘celebrate’ is the best word for this anniversary. ‘Remembrance’, perhaps. Take some time to remember something good that your mom was to you. Also, I think helping Anna tomorrow is great! Pass it on, pay it forward, life goes on. Your energy is best spent helping someone that needs your help.

    • Deena Siddle October 4, 2013 at 7:50 pm Reply

      Sis there are reason to celebrate it is a renewal of the day.

  3. Shelly October 5, 2013 at 6:21 am Reply

    Deena, I lost my mom 14 years ago. I try to spend the anniversary day remembering all the wonderful memories I have with her. I had just become a believer a couple of months before she passed. It was the first real test of my faith and I am so incredibly blessed that I felt God’s presence throughout her illness and death. He drew me to Himself so we could walk through the death of my mom together and it changed my life forever. I can relate to the not wanting to submit to His plans for your life because they are so different than our plans for ourselves. However, when we do it is far better than what we could have ever planned. I never planned to be an author or a speaker and now I can’t imagine my life any different. Good luck with your writing and publishing – it is a huge challenge but so worth it. May the Lord continue to lead and guide you and bless you along the way!

    • Deena Siddle October 5, 2013 at 7:06 am Reply

      I see now that now Shelly, just at the time it was so hard to lose the one I person that I needed to love me, and never really had. So I let anger get in the way of my relationship with God. I am grateful He is patient with me and look forward to the future. Thank you for sharing we me your struggles and hope.

  4. Kathy November 19, 2013 at 12:24 pm Reply

    I lost my mom 5 years ago to pancreatic cancer. Things were never easy between us, and when she died I was consumed with guilt. It wedged itself firmly within all the grief I was feeling. Since my mom died, I’ve always done something on the anniversary of her death to remember her, usually with my dad. But this past Saturday, instead of going to the cemetery and out to lunch, my dad and I watched high school football. It’s my son’s first year in high school and in marching band, and I’ve been to every home game for him. Our team is in the playoffs, defending state champs, and this past Saturday on the anniversary of my mom’s death, our team played my dad’s high school as the first playoff game. To me it was a sign that we should remember my mom by spending time together as a family doing something fun. I miss my mom – we started repairing things when she was diagnosed, but there wasn’t enough time to fix it all. At least she knew I loved her when she died. I started my blog as a way of dealing with what I was feeling after my mom died. I’ve started working on my book again, but it’s different this time. I think I’ll actually do it. I wish you all the best with your blog, your book, and in life. Take care.

    • Deena Siddle November 22, 2013 at 11:43 am Reply

      Kathy thank you for sharing your story with me. I am glad to hear that you to will be telling your story with your writing. The power of words to help heal is amazing.

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