People who know me now would never understand the kind of angry person I used to be. Anger was part of who I was growing up, it helped save me.
As the grown ups around me took out their anger on me in different ways, I stuffed the anger I felt deep inside me. To express my anger could be very harmful for me – if you know what I mean?
There were many things going on that I didn’t understand. I could do nothing to change them, I was the kid. There was no one to help, no one to call, no service to contact.
Sure, people would see the signs, but what can they do, did they really want to get involved?
I was one very angry young lady. I have very flat knuckles on my right hand; I had a habit of punching things. I am ashamed to say sometimes it was other people. I became a bully! It helped some, but not much.
I survived; I grew-up, and I moved out.
Did I really survive? All the stuffing I endured had its effect on me and the relationships that I would try to build in the future.
I can look back at it now and see it was the anger I had held inside of me for so many years. I later let that spill out on other people. It has only been with the love of the Lord how I can understand forgiveness for the people who hurt me and let go of that anger for them, so I can be free of the anger that lives inside of me.
Let go and live free, with God as your peace and Savior. Holding on only made me the person that hurt others too.