Life has been a roller coaster ride for the last year! The day before we came home from Alaska I started summer semester of college and have been going full-time ever since. Plus there was the need to find a job to help provide for the short fall in our income after the sale of the coffee house (change is hard for me). So with all of that pressure I have taken very little time to write for you or for myself. I have to say that I really miss sharing my world with all of you, and getting to know about you: by reading about your worlds.
So why do I have time now? I am still in school and I did have a job but it didn’t work out as of last Friday.
I will not say that I was not hurt by the loss of my job, it did hurt as with any loss, but I feel God has more important things for me to do than to worry about what some people believe or do. I have other battles to fight and from the first few weeks, that one was a losing one.
Now on to something that happened in the last few weeks on Valentine’s day. Two years ago we started marriage counseling (We made it you can to!) with a great Christian counselor who made us do a family crest and we had to answer questions without using words. The picture of the chained hands with the beautiful butterfly was what I found to express how I felt when I didn’t communicate my needs or wants in life.
I would hold back from communicating what I wanted in even the simple things like where to go for dinner, and just assuming that he would not listen to where I wanted to go, then be angry or bitter because we always go where he likes. So without even giving him a chance to have a say I would try and convict him of not caring about what I wanted to do.
Sound familiar to anyone or am I the only one out here that will admit it? When I shared the picture of the chained hands and explained that it was me that kept myself chained up by my assuming his response to many things in our marriage, but when I share what I am feeling or wanted, I set myself free like the butterfly.
Sure the response is not always peaches and cream but he is no longer being convicted for something he was never given a chance to have a say on, and we can share how we each feel and come to understanding instead of having resentment.
The day I shared this, my honey and I cried and he said we need to get matching tattoos, it was exactly what we had both been doing to each other for years. (25) Well it took him two years to talk me into it but we did it this year on Valentines day. Here is mine.
As you can see that it start outs in darkness when you hold back and don’t share your heart with each other. If you open yourself you break the chains that bind you and are set free and beautiful like a butterfly.
See you around, God bless.