It took taking that step to be ready to take these new steps we are now taking.
When you look back and see the valleys that God has brought you through and the pain in those times that you felt so far from God. Those are the times that you are being made stronger to work harder for God down the road.
When we started marriage counseling I thought finally all of our problems will be fixed, that Scott will see it is all his fault and do better. (didn’t happen, I was ready to quit after the second time)
Funny thing is that is not the way it works at all there are two people in a marriage and both have their own set of problems they bring to the table.
I have a screwed up idea of what love is and how I find my identity in life. The enemy can use that against me in times of weakness if I let him. I know that I struggle with where I find my identity and hang on to God’s word. Every time I feel less than loved, beautiful or even comfortable with my own image I repeat scriptures to myself here is just a sample of a few I run to.
Isaiah 41:10 Fear not for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will up hold you with My righteous right hand.
All of Psalm 139 is great if you want to know who you are to God, my favorite is Psalm 139: 13-14 For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearful and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well.
My Identity is not in my husband it is in God, He is the one and only God that can fill the voids in my life, that the scars of my past have left behind.
We took a bold step in December of 2012 to work on our marriage each and everyday for the rest of our lives. There has been a lot of changes over the last two years to make both of us happier and healthier people. My prayer is that in our transparency in the lives we live will bring changes and marriages will healed.
God bless, thank you for reading.