Category Archives: faith

I am afraid!

Why have my dreams or the plans that God has for my life never grown into the day. They still hide in the night in my heart where God places these dreams.

I have let them out a few times and the response was fair. So it is not that I believe I am unable to fulfill the dream that God has given me.

In truth, I am afraid.

I did not speak my first words to the world and have people begging to hear more. I know that a great speaker is not born but grown.

I can’t even say that I have been hiding behind by husband as he dreams and grows. That I have given up my dreams to support his. No that is not it, I have fear in my heart!

What do I fear?

I hear the words of my earthly father telling me I will never be good enough and that I am fat and ugly.

These words even thou I know there were spoken by a man who had so much hate in is heart and drank himself to the point of death so many times should not have any power over my life. Even today as I think about them they still have the power to bring me to tears.

We are all made beautiful by God.

Satan does not want me to know that and to hold that in my heart over the words of my father. If I stay that frighten young woman Satan wins and I have not fulfilled God’s plan in my life.

This is what I needed to purge from my heart and mind before I write my message for next Sunday. It will be only the second time I have spoken as a pastor. I know God has plans for me He has shown me in my dreams.

That’s it thanks for reading.     




There is a new song that is out there that is called Forgiven by David Crowder if you have not heard it you so need to look it up on Youtube.

This song speaks of how it felt to hold the nail in his hands as he nailed Jesus to the cross, it was cold. The weight of the hammer in his hand and the look on Jesus’s face of forgiveness. It is a wow moment for me each time I hear this song because it is my sin that did nail Him to the cross and He would have done it just for me.

There are so many times that we forget that we are forgiven that we have the honor of forgiveness if we have asked for it. Psalms 103:12-13 tells us “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He remove our transgressions from us. And the our Father has compassion on His children.”

Are we able to do the same for those that we need to forgive?

No, we are human and can not forget the wrongs or unjust actions that have been done agaist us. We are able to forgive those that have done these acts and need to for our own well being and happiness.

It does not even matter if the person knows or acknowledges you feel the need to forgive them. In many cases they may have no understanding that you feel wronged by them. Also some people are just not able to speak of the past.

So what do you do with these feeling? You let them go! Forgive and be done. It is really between you and God anyways. He wants to heal your heart and make you whole. When you carry the burdens of unforgiveness in your heart it is a encumbersome heavy load that will weigh you down.

Well that is all I have for you today, love yourself and others. See ya next time.


Short cuts?

My honey and I love to travel, to get out and go someplace we have never been or return to a much loved spot.

We started out in our relationship with two ways of thinking of how we could get to where we wanted to go.

I for one would like to know when, where, how far, what will I need while I am there. (Will it be cold or hot, do I need a swimsuit.) So many questions running around in my mind. Yes, I am a planner by heart. Get me from point A to point B in the most direct route possible so the fun can begin.

My honey, give him a toothbrush (we found that to be very important to have on one trip early on, somethings I just will not share, Just sayin! ) and as long as he has sandals and shorts he is good to go, anywhere even skiing. Just makes me cold looking at it, his shorts are in the car for after. sandals in the snow

He also likes to take short cuts or scenic routes to get from here to there. It may not really be shorter at all, it could add hours on to the trip. His view is – the minute we leave the driveway we are on vacation or our trip has started. So if it takes time to get there that is okay, it is the journey that counts.

It has taken us many years to get on the same page as far as this goes. He has a good point, you will see many things on a short cut that you would never see on a point A to point B trip. He also has come to the understanding that sometimes you do need to go directly to your destination.

You must know when it is time to take a short cut and when it is time to travel the longer road to get to the point that God wants you to be at. If you take a short cut when you know that you are not ready to get to the point God has told you to be, then there are lessons that you will not have learned along the way.

Pray about the road you are to travel and know that you are going there for the right reasons.

Short cuts can be nice and they can bite you in the ass in the end.

Just a random thought.

See you next time.

I am your’s and you are mine.

Years ago when God told me that I would write and be a teacher to many I laughed like Sara in the bible did when she over heard that she would have a baby in her old age. I did not laugh because I am old, but because who would listen to me, was the thought in my head. I will admit it has haunted my head for many years after God was clear that this was what I was to do.

I would work on it for awhile and then I would allow other things to push it aside and crowd it out. I would become worried about what people close to me will think about what I write. Should I write my true feeling and the pain I feel. I was working on it all wrong!

I had the mind set that every thing I was writing was for someone else to glean from. Over the years I have had people that I did not even know at all or not know well confirm God’s calling in my life to write, yet I still struggled. Until as of lately when one of these people brought to me a word from God that stuck the core of me.

That the words God gives me to write are for me and my understanding.  

It was a wow moment for me, that only after I glean understanding from His words will they ever be of use to anyone else.

So here is something that I have come to understand after many years of seeking. I am loved for who I am by my Heavenly Father, just the way I am, here and now. I do not need to change one thing about me to be loved by God. Here is the kicker even as a sinner I am loved.

So many feel that they have to change to be loved by God, that is not true. God loves you right now, right were you are, just as who you are. Can you except that love from the Heavenly Father?




Where you go I will find you!

I know that I have not been writing much lately, okay not at all that I have shared with you. I know that I have been called to this new place to do good works for the glory of God. It is just trying to understand what those works are to be, is the hard part. Plus fitting in to a new community and a church family with all new rules has been hard for me.

So I will admit that I have been doing all kinds of stuff that I could say is for the Lord, but I know it is not. I do not want to be one of those people on the last day that God tells me He does not know me because I have been to busy running to and fro doing His so called works.

Sorry just a note to say, almost six months in the desert will help you see things clearly. God bless.