I know many things in life,
I know that I am loved by God,
I know that I am His daughter,
I know He has set the plans for me,
I know that I have not used my gifts for His glory,
I know He is pulling on my heart to be real, not only with myself but with you.
Years ago when God told me that I would write and be a teacher to many I laughed like Sara in the bible did when she over heard that she would have a baby in her old age. I did not laugh because I am old, but because who would listen to me, was the thought in my head. I will admit it has haunted my head for many years after God was clear that this was what I was to do.
I would work on it for awhile and then I would allow other things to push it aside and crowd it out. I would become worried about what people close to me will think about what I write. Should I write my true feeling and the pain I feel. I was working on it all wrong!
I had the mind set that every thing I was writing was for someone else to glean from. Over the years I have had people that I did not even know at all or not know well confirm God’s calling in my life to write, yet I still struggled. Until as of lately when one of these people brought to me a word from God that stuck the core of me.
That the words God gives me to write are for me and my understanding.
It was a wow moment for me, that only after I glean understanding from His words will they ever be of use to anyone else.
So here is something that I have come to understand after many years of seeking. I am loved for who I am by my Heavenly Father, just the way I am, here and now. I do not need to change one thing about me to be loved by God. Here is the kicker even as a sinner I am loved.
So many feel that they have to change to be loved by God, that is not true. God loves you right now, right were you are, just as who you are. Can you except that love from the Heavenly Father?
Here is a random story from my childhood as to why it took me until I was in my thirties to eat Chinese food because of this fateful night. It started out like many nights; my Mom was working late, so we had to have dinner with my cousins who babysat from time to time. They had planned on having take-out Chinese food. I’m four and I am a picky eater. Hey, what four year old isn’t? I sit there picking at my plate and eat very little. I’m told, “You can’t get down until you clean your plate!” Something about starving kids somewhere, hard earned money, and something blab blab.
Everyone else is done, I’m still sitting there. I believe they call it ‘strong willed child’ hard headed. Call it what you will, I was not going to eat that rice. Yet my cousin was not going to let me get up either. I cried. She yelled we were at a stand off. I just prayed that my mom would get there and take me home.
The dishes are all done and I am still sitting at the table and will not eat my rice. My cousin’s face is red as she picks up the plate; I think to myself okay I win I don’t have to eat it. But instead of walking away, she grabs the back of my head and a handful of hair as she rubs the plate of rice in my face, smashing it into my nose and ears.
She finally let go and tells me to clean the mess I made up before my mom gets there. I crawled on the floor with a rag trying to wipe it all up, crying quietly as she stood there watching to make sure I got each grain of rice. It’s no wonder it took me so long to ever eat rice.
What brings a person to this point? That they would scar a child for life over a plate of food, was it worth it? Please stop and walk away before you take out your anger on a child, yes they can push your buttons at times, but it should not hurt to be a kid.
This is a post that I posted before but I was thinking today about the kids out there that have it really hard this time of year. Everyone is getting ready to go back to school and so many kids do not get new clothes before school or even clean clothes. Yes I have been working on Laundry Love stuff so it just got me thinking be kind, hug your kids even if you can’t give them everything you can always give them your love.