The Battle Within!


wounded not broken

Just feel I needed share this one again with updates.

The battle begins each new day anew, I grow weary of fighting.

The voices in my head tell me I deserve better, why do I have to work so hard,

How come we don’t have more money, why don’t we get to take nice vacations? We have earned them.

If he really loved me, he would give me all these things. Maybe there is someone else? That would explain why he doesn’t want me.

This is a battle that is fought within on a spiritual level one the enemy of each one of us will try to win each day.

If the enemy can get us to believe even just one of these things, even for a moment or something like the example above, then he has a foot hold on us and in our relationships.

If before we even get out of bed and even have a word with our husbands the enemy (Satan) has already whispered in our ear that we deserve better, how does that set the tone for the day?

Will we jump out of bed, look at our husbands, and think; WOW! I love you, sweet heart. Or will we look and see where he no longer is the guy we married so many years ago.

Now be careful, the enemy doesn’t play favorites, he is whispering in his mind too, saying; WOW! Boy has she let herself go, is she really going to wear that again.

Now he’s thinking; can’t wait to get to work were they appreciate me, and don’t think I’m so stupid.

See even as a pastor I had let the enemy get a hold of my thoughts, my prayers had become useless and selfish.

When I would pray for my marriage I would pray; God fix what is wrong with my husband, make him a better man, and help him to give me what I need, be the man I want him to be.

I would hope I’m not the only women in the world to pray a selfish pray. God doesn’t answer those kinds of prayers, and the enemy knows it.

It just gives the enemy a stronger foot hold in your life; you are now cut off from your life support, no longer hearing from God on the one subject you are crying out to Him on and what you are listening to are lies from the enemy.

So, in December of 2012, I had been listening to the lies so long and was becoming someone who was hard to love.  God was still the King in our home; and before it all fell apart, we got help! The first thing we had to do was take EVERY THOUGHT INTO CAPTIVITY! 1 Cor. 3:10

Know they are lies from the enemy sent to destroy you! To make you cheat on your family, to spend more than you make; to work longer than is healthy, and to eat more than is satisfying.

So that was step one and step two was to put the other person’s needs above your own.

I have to say, that was really hard to do at the time; when you don’t really like someone right now, to put their needs first is hard.

Now don’t get me wrong, just because I am saying that I didn’t like Scott at that time doesn’t mean I didn’t still love him with all my heart. For me it is two different things.

That was almost two years ago, and I am happy to say that with God’s grace my marriage is stronger now then it has ever been. I am no longer afraid to speak out and say what I feel….even if it is not what he would like to hear.

We have graduated from marriage counseling and have moved on to help on others, to be God all the glory amen!

Update and when you forget to keep up with all of the above you have to do it all over again in 2020!

We are back on the right track now! Never be afraid to let people know you are not okay.

Thanks for stopping by!

Self control

7 For God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness, but one of power, love, and sound judgment. 2 Timothy 1:7 HCSB

This version says sound judgment, others use self control.

So many people are always blaming there lack of self control as to why they can’t get to where they want to be.

Discipline, drive, will power, self control. Whatever you call it we all have it.

For most of us we make the choice not to have it or use it. The words I can’t are always on our tongues.

In reality it’s not that you can’t you make the choice to be empowered and walk away. From a bad job, unhealthy friendship, overeating, negative self talk or unhealthy habits.

God has given us the strength and the courage to stand up to the things that hold us down.

You may feel like you can’t, so you just give in. Take a moment, a breath and ask God to help you.

Walk in His strength, even if it’s only a moment. This time next time you will make it for a few moments. Keep at it and believe He is your source of strength and you will overcome.

Thanks for stopping by!

Believe in God!

“Your heart must not be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in Me. John 14:1 HCSB

How many times in life has God saved me from the troubles I believe are overwhelming. To many times to consider.

That is part of the problem, I forget all the times he has protect me.

Take time to meditate on where God has brought you from. Because no matter where you started if you have trusted God you are in a better position. Heart, mind, body and spirit.

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Thank the Lord God almighty!

I will thank Yahweh with all my heart; I will declare all Your wonderful works. Psalms 9:1 HCSB

So many times when we stop at the end of the day we only remember all the things that didn’t go right.

We forget to see or remember the small bright spots. Like your husband put the set down. Someone took out the trash without being told. You sent a text to someone God placed on your heart, and it was perfect timing.

If we only focus on the negatives of each day that’s all we are expecting. Look for the bright spot and be thankful for both. Without one we would not appreciate the other.

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Nothing I Lack!

Can you even grasp that kind of peace?

I confess in my head I know this to be true but at times when life is overwhelming I struggle with keeping it in my heart.

I know I am not the only one to have this struggle, God also knows and does not condemn me.

Seek God’s peace in the storms.

Thanks for stopping by!

Be still?

“Stop your fighting — and know that I am God, exalted among the nations, exalted on the earth.” Psalms 46:10 HCSB

We understand what God is asking us to do, we just have know idea of how to do it.

To stop…..the fighting, the worrying, self hating, negative thoughts.

We are constantly fighting against someone or yourself.

God’s word tells us to be still. To come and sit in His peace. Quite the negative thoughts that run through your head and focus on what God says about you.

You are wonderful and beautifully made. You are His sons/daughters and cast your cares upon Him. For He knows the plans He has for you, and they are Good!

Believe that today and be still.

Thanks for stopping by!