I am afraid!

Why have my dreams or the plans that God has for my life never grown into the day. They still hide in the night in my heart where God places these dreams.

I have let them out a few times and the response was fair. So it is not that I believe I am unable to fulfill the dream that God has given me.

In truth, I am afraid.

I did not speak my first words to the world and have people begging to hear more. I know that a great speaker is not born but grown.

I can’t even say that I have been hiding behind by husband as he dreams and grows. That I have given up my dreams to support his. No that is not it, I have fear in my heart!

What do I fear?

I hear the words of my earthly father telling me I will never be good enough and that I am fat and ugly.

These words even thou I know there were spoken by a man who had so much hate in is heart and drank himself to the point of death so many times should not have any power over my life. Even today as I think about them they still have the power to bring me to tears.

We are all made beautiful by God.

Satan does not want me to know that and to hold that in my heart over the words of my father. If I stay that frighten young woman Satan wins and I have not fulfilled God’s plan in my life.

This is what I needed to purge from my heart and mind before I write my message for next Sunday. It will be only the second time I have spoken as a pastor. I know God has plans for me He has shown me in my dreams.

That’s it thanks for reading.     


Pray First

Over the last two years there have been so many changes in my life that it is hard to know what to say about it all.

Have all the changes been good?

I would have to say that it has been a rough road to travel, so many new things in my world. Some good and some not so good.

It is hard to find balance sometimes as the world around you changes.

You need to find firm footing. You may ask were do you find that, well it is only with my Lord and Savior that I have even made it to this point in life, so He is the one I look to for understanding when life is hard.

I can only speak for myself but I know that with out God in my life I could not get out of bed each day.

This world that we live in is hard, life is hard. As we face the struggles of each day living with family, work, health and the world. It can grow heavy on your heart to know what you can change and what you need to learn to cope with.

I PRAY FIRST,  I am unable to stand on my own and wouldn’t want to. I tried life on my own and ended up trying to take my life. So I will pray first and trust in God to lead me where I should go.

That is all I got for now, Peace out!



There is a new song that is out there that is called Forgiven by David Crowder if you have not heard it you so need to look it up on Youtube.

This song speaks of how it felt to hold the nail in his hands as he nailed Jesus to the cross, it was cold. The weight of the hammer in his hand and the look on Jesus’s face of forgiveness. It is a wow moment for me each time I hear this song because it is my sin that did nail Him to the cross and He would have done it just for me.

There are so many times that we forget that we are forgiven that we have the honor of forgiveness if we have asked for it. Psalms 103:12-13 tells us “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He remove our transgressions from us. And the our Father has compassion on His children.”

Are we able to do the same for those that we need to forgive?

No, we are human and can not forget the wrongs or unjust actions that have been done agaist us. We are able to forgive those that have done these acts and need to for our own well being and happiness.

It does not even matter if the person knows or acknowledges you feel the need to forgive them. In many cases they may have no understanding that you feel wronged by them. Also some people are just not able to speak of the past.

So what do you do with these feeling? You let them go! Forgive and be done. It is really between you and God anyways. He wants to heal your heart and make you whole. When you carry the burdens of unforgiveness in your heart it is a encumbersome heavy load that will weigh you down.

Well that is all I have for you today, love yourself and others. See ya next time.



Short cuts?

My honey and I love to travel, to get out and go someplace we have never been or return to a much loved spot.

We started out in our relationship with two ways of thinking of how we could get to where we wanted to go.

I for one would like to know when, where, how far, what will I need while I am there. (Will it be cold or hot, do I need a swimsuit.) So many questions running around in my mind. Yes, I am a planner by heart. Get me from point A to point B in the most direct route possible so the fun can begin.

My honey, give him a toothbrush (we found that to be very important to have on one trip early on, somethings I just will not share, Just sayin! ) and as long as he has sandals and shorts he is good to go, anywhere even skiing. Just makes me cold looking at it, his shorts are in the car for after. sandals in the snow

He also likes to take short cuts or scenic routes to get from here to there. It may not really be shorter at all, it could add hours on to the trip. His view is – the minute we leave the driveway we are on vacation or our trip has started. So if it takes time to get there that is okay, it is the journey that counts.

It has taken us many years to get on the same page as far as this goes. He has a good point, you will see many things on a short cut that you would never see on a point A to point B trip. He also has come to the understanding that sometimes you do need to go directly to your destination.

You must know when it is time to take a short cut and when it is time to travel the longer road to get to the point that God wants you to be at. If you take a short cut when you know that you are not ready to get to the point God has told you to be, then there are lessons that you will not have learned along the way.

Pray about the road you are to travel and know that you are going there for the right reasons.

Short cuts can be nice and they can bite you in the ass in the end.

Just a random thought.

See you next time.


When life blows you over.

Over the last few weeks we have had two of the dead trees in our yard blow over from the high wings that we have been having.

At first you may be thinking how sad that is to lose a tree that was planted more than 20 years ago, and you would normally be right.

The things about these trees is they are dead. Dead to the point of the roots are starting to come to the surface and the bark is falling off the tree. This is how we found these trees when we bought the house here in Ridgecrest. The house had been empty for a long time and without care and water the trees could not make it through the hot summers alone.

Even with a great tap root after years of drought they could not make it without life giving water.


I liken this to our walk with the Lord, we can have deep roots that have been our support for many years. We may have been walking with the Lord our God for most of our life time. If you stop drinking from the word of God and eating from His table you can become like these trees dead but still standing.

The only reason that the trees have come down now is with all the water we have had this winter the ground is saturated and the storms knocked them down.

If we become complacent in our walk with God we risk being blown over in the storms of life.  Make sure you take in God daily to stand strong.

Yes it is a good thing the trees came down, we would have had to spend a great amount of time and energy to get them out ourselves. In life we do need to rid ourselves of the dead things that are no longer bringing forth fruit.

Thanks for reading. See ya!