The Battle Within!


wounded not broken

Just feel I needed share this one again with updates.

The battle begins each new day anew, I grow weary of fighting.

The voices in my head tell me I deserve better, why do I have to work so hard,

How come we don’t have more money, why don’t we get to take nice vacations? We have earned them.

If he really loved me, he would give me all these things. Maybe there is someone else? That would explain why he doesn’t want me.

This is a battle that is fought within on a spiritual level one the enemy of each one of us will try to win each day.

If the enemy can get us to believe even just one of these things, even for a moment or something like the example above, then he has a foot hold on us and in our relationships.

If before we even get out of bed and even have a word with our husbands the enemy (Satan) has already whispered in our ear that we deserve better, how does that set the tone for the day?

Will we jump out of bed, look at our husbands, and think; WOW! I love you, sweet heart. Or will we look and see where he no longer is the guy we married so many years ago.

Now be careful, the enemy doesn’t play favorites, he is whispering in his mind too, saying; WOW! Boy has she let herself go, is she really going to wear that again.

Now he’s thinking; can’t wait to get to work were they appreciate me, and don’t think I’m so stupid.

See even as a pastor I had let the enemy get a hold of my thoughts, my prayers had become useless and selfish.

When I would pray for my marriage I would pray; God fix what is wrong with my husband, make him a better man, and help him to give me what I need, be the man I want him to be.

I would hope I’m not the only women in the world to pray a selfish pray. God doesn’t answer those kinds of prayers, and the enemy knows it.

It just gives the enemy a stronger foot hold in your life; you are now cut off from your life support, no longer hearing from God on the one subject you are crying out to Him on and what you are listening to are lies from the enemy.

So, in December of 2012, I had been listening to the lies so long and was becoming someone who was hard to love.  God was still the King in our home; and before it all fell apart, we got help! The first thing we had to do was take EVERY THOUGHT INTO CAPTIVITY! 1 Cor. 3:10

Know they are lies from the enemy sent to destroy you! To make you cheat on your family, to spend more than you make; to work longer than is healthy, and to eat more than is satisfying.

So that was step one and step two was to put the other person’s needs above your own.

I have to say, that was really hard to do at the time; when you don’t really like someone right now, to put their needs first is hard.

Now don’t get me wrong, just because I am saying that I didn’t like Scott at that time doesn’t mean I didn’t still love him with all my heart. For me it is two different things.

That was almost two years ago, and I am happy to say that with God’s grace my marriage is stronger now then it has ever been. I am no longer afraid to speak out and say what I feel….even if it is not what he would like to hear.

We have graduated from marriage counseling and have moved on to help on others, to be God all the glory amen!

Update and when you forget to keep up with all of the above you have to do it all over again in 2020!

We are back on the right track now! Never be afraid to let people know you are not okay.

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Why I do want I do!

We will be tempted

No one undergoing a trial should say, “I am being tempted by God.” For God is not tempted by evil, and He Himself doesn’t tempt anyone.
James 1:13 HCSB

God will always give us away out of temptation, we just need to look for it.

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Teach a youth about the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6 HCSB

It is so important what we teach our children. If we teach God’s word from early on they too will hide it in there hearts for times of trouble.

Give your child the armor of God.

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God of hope

Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you believe in Him so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13 HCSB

Believing is the key, without it we will only find what we can see in front of us. By our resources which can be depleted we become hopeless.

We must believe, it is the first step, in overflowing power.

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I will not fear death!

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Death will no longer exist; grief, crying, and pain will exist no longer, because the previous things have passed away.
Revelation 21:4 HCSB

This is a glimpse of Heaven. No crying, grief, pain or worries. All of that has been left behind.

So way do we spend so much time afraid of death? Do get me wrong here I am not saying we should be looking for death. Just not be afraid when it happens naturally.

God is there, He is here with us now. Lean in to Him to find the peace you are seeking.

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